Seemingly Innocent Words Can Be Harmful To Us

Just days ago, Singapore entered into the frenzy of the General Election 2025. I admit that I never had any interest to pay attention to politics. I hate office politics, and I know hardly anything about national politics. But it's different now with Hubby's deep interest in the subject, along with my concerns about cost of living and job security... If things get any more expensive, I'd probably have to skip retirement and find ways to hustle and make money till my 70s or 80s!

And so, we watched almost all the rallies.

Then one night, I was heartbroken. Candidate G spoke hurtful words about a fellow party Candidate A. And those words were spoken in an arrogant manner, as if you can do no wrong.

A racial slur. Poking fun of Candidate A's name. Using an imagined predicament that Candidate A would face should the party did not secure at least 12.5% of the votes at the contested area. Predicting the outcome if Candidate A lost the deposit. Picturing Candidate A's parent berating Candidate A.

Why didn't anyone shush Candidate G? Why didn't the party turn off the microphone and pretend it was a technical error? Why did they let the episode go on?

At the next party rally on the follow night, I appreciated that Candidate A was prioritized with a platform to speak up. However I was deeply uncomfortable when the party addressed only the racist slur, but not the name calling, nor the onstage bullying. I was further disgusted by the loud offstage bullying in the crowd "shut up", "move on".

When have we become such an ungracious society?

In Singapore, we should be proud of our diversity. Perhaps, anti-discriminatory and anti-harassment training should be mandatory prior to running for any representative positions, be it in elections or workplaces. Perhaps, we need a regular reminder of the civics lessons we used to have in schools.

As for the Neurodivergent Community...

It wasn't very useful when I learn about the disputing perspectives within the neurodivergent community, such as the correct use of terminology like "neurodivergent vs. neurodivergence vs. neurodiversity", person-first or identity-first, ASD disorder vs ASC condition, etc. Not all of us support the use of labels such as high-functioning or the medical categories of autistic spectrum levels. It didn't matter much to me until I learned about the harm these labels can cause us.

I am in several online autistic support groups, and enjoyed being in this one group where we have very active participation. We learn from one another, and helped each other through difficult times. For example, I once asked the community what they would do if you keep receiving calls/emails from cold-calling vendors that do not seem to listen that you really do not (and cannot!) be on a call with them? Some members asked further information to understand the context, and everyone gave me very helpful suggestions, some of which they used themselves.

However, one of the groups were renamed suddenly from a high functioning label to a level one label. Many members voiced their displeasure. Not just because autistic people tend to have a hard time coping with changes, but because many autistic people do not feel they belong to a certain specific level of the medical diagnosis. Some members who are level two shared that they may feel a level two at times when executive dysfunction and many other difficulties take precedence in their lives, but there are also days where they feel they are a level one when there is much support in place for them.

We may not agree with everything. But let's agree on one thing.

Let's be kind to ourselves, and let's be kind to one another.

If you ever find yourself unsure of a word's meaning, a name's pronunciation, or a person's pronouns... Be upfront that you're unsure and ask the person(s) involved, or someone familiar with the topic. Educate yourself about nuances and biases in different contexts.

The world doesn't need more hatred or violence.