I'm an average Singaporean millennial.

Like many others growing up in the 1980s and 1990s, I followed the path our Asian parents ingrained in us.

Study hard, get good grades, land a stable job, settle down, and start a family. Except that future didn’t unfold the way I was taught to expect.

Raised to bring honor to our families, I learned early on to hide my struggles behind a smile.

I had breast cancer at age 38.

Just as the pandemic unfolded, I woke up one morning with a throbbing sharp pain in my chest. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to scramble for flights, shuttling between two countries to get treatment in Singapore and keep my job in Thailand.

People around me dismissed my fears. They commented I caught it at an early stage and had a high chance of survival.

I ended a long marriage.

After fourteen years together, I came to accept that the marriage had failed. I had taken a job overseas to avoid what I wasn’t ready to face.

Along with the divorce, I lost many shared friends and the marital home.

I returned to Singapore for good.

Although I no longer had a place to call my own in Singapore, there was nothing left in Bangkok worth staying for.

As the organization changed, my boss and teammates eventually moved on, and I felt obliged to return to Singapore to focus on my health.

I lost SGD700,000.

Having carried limiting beliefs for so long, I felt undeserving of anything good. Would men be disgusted by a woman with a newly scarred breast?

I thought I found hope and stability in a new routine. Swiping on dating apps and meeting new people from all walks of life renewed my faith in finding love again. By April 2021, I realized the so-called devoted attention was a scam.

Gratefully, things shifted for the better.

In June 2021, I took on a maternity-cover contract role at one of the Big Tech firms. I focused on minimizing discretionary spending and was able to save most of my take-home pay.

The following month, I met Christopher, who would become my life partner. I was honest about my challenges, and we soon began dating with marriage in mind. We tied the knot in January 2023.

In July 2022, I started a temporary HR operations role at a communications agency. It was the first time my work included a focus on inclusion, belonging, and mental well-being. A year later, the role evolved into a permanent position.

But I was bursting into tears for no reason.

Early perimenopause symptoms made me question myself once more. Brain fog, hot flashes, and heightened sensitivity made it harder to handle the environments I had long been accustomed to. Everything seemed unnecessarily amplified, and I couldn’t make sense of it.

There were many moments when I hid in the office/mall washroom, overwhelmed by the chatter of people around me. At home, I couldn’t bring myself to unlock the front door and would stand staring helplessly at our drying plants outside.

What was happening to me? Would I be able to continue working?

I finally sought help.

Overwhelming doubt and emotional exhaustion eventually led me to seek help from family and friends. I also turned to spiritual guidance, online communities, life coaches, counselors, and mental health professionals.

There were moments when I felt unseen and unheard. Advice that was meant to help sometimes made me feel even less of myself. Yet, I refused to give up on who I am. After many attempts in seeking help, I was finally diagnosed with:

• level 1 autism spectrum disorder (ASD) by a clinical psychologist in private practice in February 2023

• persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia) by a clinical psychiatrist in a restructured hospital in November 2024

I learned to care for myself in ways I hadn't before.

Through clinical help and building a supportive network of people around me, I am now able to gently face what I'd been carrying for years.

• I was given SSRI medication to stabilize my mood, and that gave me the space to start working on myself without constantly bursting into tears.

• Instead of suppressing my feelings, I learned to process them through journaling, and meet my inner critic with compassion.

• I learned to notice my avoidance habits and gently nudge myself toward healthier coping, taking brief pauses from work emails to meditate.

• Having once felt powerless around money, I improved my financial literacy through the Central Provident Fund and MoneySense websites. I am now able to maintain an emergency fund and contribute regularly to my retirement savings.

What started as personal growth has led to recognition for my advocacy and contributions.

In August 2025, I was appointed as a Beyond The Label ambassador, which led to media interviews with Channel News Asia, 8视界新闻网, and 新明日报.

I played a key role in developing and implementing the strategic initiatives that contributed to my employer winning the Best Mental Wellbeing Strategy in the Workplace category at the This Can Happen Awards in November 2025.