This is a reflective piece written by my husband Chris.
Some people choose to remain single rather than having a partner, and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone has different lifestyles and preferences. Learning to respect others’ decisions, instead of holding too tightly to our own views, can itself be a form of personal cultivation.
From my own experience about being single, I think that once if our parents leave this world, there may no longer be anyone who regards us as the most important person in their life. It won’t be our siblings, relatives, or even friends. We may grow close to children around us, but as they grow older, they will naturally build their own lives and priorities.
Of course, being “important” or “not important” in someone’s life is still just a form of attachment. Many great individuals who chose to remain single have gone on to dedicate themselves to others, living meaningful and enriching lives.
At times, I also wonder, if a person can truly be at peace with themselves, finding comfort in solitude without feeling lonely, perhaps that is a deeper understanding of our body, mind, and soul, and maybe even a higher state of being.
Life is not just about eating, sleeping, studying, or working. Everything we see, touch, and enjoy is only temporary. Beyond all these, there lies a greater purpose to life something deeper and more meaningful than the fleeting moments of comfort and pleasure.
There are many different kinds of love in this world. Each form of love is expressed differently, yet all share the same essence of care, commitment, and the willingness to give a part of ourselves to others.
The ones who love and care for us unconditionally are our parents. When a father passes on, we suddenly feel the need to build our own fortress, because the one who once protected us is no longer there. A mother, however, often remains a steady presence. No matter how many times life breaks our heart or relationships fail, she will always be there. A parent’s love does not change.
Still, our parents cannot walk with us forever, for one day, they too will leave this world.
Teachers, in their own way, are like Wisdom guides who point us toward the right path by showing us where the purest water flows, or how to nurture the best harvest with love. Yet their love and guidance can only go so far. It is up to us to practice what we’ve learned and to live by it. At the same time, not every piece of advice may suit us. We need to carry the awareness to decide what to take in and what to gently set aside.
As I reflect on life, I realize that those who truly walk beside us are not our children, relatives, siblings, or even best friends. In time, each will follow their own path and build their own families.
In my view, it is our spouse who walks life’s journey most closely with us. Of course, not every marriage is blessed with deep love, and not every spouse fully understands what true love really means.
To me, nurturing a good relationship is not about asking a partner to change in order to meet our expectations. Love is about embracing both the strengths and the weaknesses of one another. Each person has the right to choose the kind of life they wish to live such as faith, career, or family values.
What matters most is that we learn to listen, to share openly, to respect each other’s views, and to keep walking side by side in patience, understanding, and love.