Resilience is not something you either have or you don't

We often speak about resilience as if it's something you either have or you don't. We picture the marathon runner or the person who remains stoic during a crisis.

But in reality, resilience is much more fluid. It adapts to your circumstances. Some days, it looks like a 5-mile run. Other days, it looks like a 5-minute nap.

Consider your work lunch. It's the same basic need every day, yet your response to that hunger changes based on your energy, your time, and your resource. Resilience works exactly the same way.

The "Cup Noodles" Days:
Pure Survival

On some days, you reach for the cup noodles in the pantry cabinet. You peel back the lid, add hot water, and wait three minutes. It isn't fancy, but it's quick and practical. It gets you through the moment when your "battery" is at 10%.

That's resilience when you are exhausted and just need to get through the day. The goal here is to preserve your limited energy, so you don't burn out completely.

Sometimes, just surviving the day is an act of courage. You're accepting that you are currently on shaky ground and you just need to find your footing before you can put your mind to do anything else.

For me, "cup noodles" days looks like:

• stopping at "good enough", instead of chasing the illusive perfection.

• drinking a full glass of water slowly, because my body needs a basic win.

• putting on noise-canceling headphones to sit in silence for ten minutes.

• canceling a non-essential plan or errand.

• taking a cold shower before heading to bed early that night.

• using self-checkout stations to avoid conversations with outlet staff.

The secret to steady resilience is to plan ahead for your safe resets while your battery is still in the green. That's because when you hit 10% capacity, your brain loses the ability to make good choices.

Here are 5 ways to build your resilience toolkit for those Cup Noodles days:

• Zero-decision foods: Give yourself permission to eat the meal you've had a thousand times. Consider what are the foods you can eat day-in-day-out and won't get sick of.

• Low-friction outfits: They do not necessarily need to be the same as Steve Job's black turtleneck tops, but your most reliable "uniform" should be comfortable. That means no tight waistbands, no itchy tags, and no complicated layering.

• Expectation-free zones: When the world feels too loud, find a space where nothing is expected of you. Try a quick walk up or down a quiet stairwell. Stay an extra 2 minutes in the restroom stall with your eyes closed. Head outside to rest on a park bench and get some fresh air.

• Brain dump for mental clarity: Grab a pen and a piece of paper or a notebook, and spend 5 minutes to handwrite every single thing on your mind. Tasks. Ideas. Thoughts. Worries. Don't organize it. Don't "fix" it. Messy handwriting is okay.

• Process emails in batches: You do not need constant "micro-shocks" throughout your work day. If it’s a true work crisis, they will call. Email is for "asynchronous" work, so disable pop-ups and notifications, and check emails only at 2-3 specific times a day. Use folders/labels to prioritize action, e.g. 1 ASAP, 2 Review, and 3 Later.

The "Favorite Café" Days:
Intentional Presence

Then there are days when you have the energy to leave the office. You get into your car or walk down to your favorite local spot, wait for a table, and sit down to enjoy a fresh, hot meal.

It takes more effort than staying in the office, but you're making an intentional choice to change your environment and nourish yourself properly on a busy work day.

That’s resilience when you have the capacity to invest in a steady foundation for the long-term. The goal here is sustainable strength by honoring your personal pace.

It's a reminder that inner work does not have to be loud or hurried to be effective. Sometimes the most lasting strength is built in the quiet, intentional moments.

For me, "favorite café" days looks like:

• taking myself on a "solo date" to the cinema or the library.

• diving into a podcast about a topic that has nothing to do with work, just because it sparks curiosity.

• engaging in creative play, like spending an hour doodling or gardening just for the joy of it.

• journaling through an intentional 'life audit' or a complex thought.

• decluttering a small physical space, like a drawer.

The "Food Delivery" Days:
Outsourcing Strength

On certain days, the bravest thing you can do is pick up the phone, open that app, and order delivery. You choose ease without guilt.

That’s resilience when you lean on systems, not just willpower. The goal here is to expand your resources by leveraging collective strength.

We often mistake "independence" for "resilience," but they aren't the same thing. True resilience involves knowing when to lean on others. We can complement our limitations with the strengths of others.

For me, "food delivery" days looks like:

• asking my husband for help with an errand run.

• switching on a 'body doubling' video on YouTube while I do my tasks/chores, just so I don't feel alone in the effort.

• creating structured moments for reflection, in accordance to the Bullet Journal method

• booking a coaching or counseling session, depending on my needs.

• attending a community circle that focus on peer-to-peer support for mental well-being.

Resilience shifts with
context and capacity

The trap we often fall into is judging ourselves by the "lunch menu" we choose. We feel guilty for quick fixes like "cup noodles day", thinking we should always be building up for future impact like "favorite café day".

But there is no hierarchy here. None of these choices are "better" than the others. Trying to go to a busy café when you only have energy for cup noodles isn't resilient. That's a recipe for burnout!

So, stop judging your "cup noodles days".

How to choose
your "meal" today

As you move through this week, try to check in with yourself before you react to stress.
Ask yourself:

1. What is my current capacity?

2. What does "getting through" look like right now?

3. Do I need help to do this alone, or can I "order in" some help?

Resilience is not about how much we can carry and trying to become a superhero. We can make intentional choices to manage our energy, to truly nourish ourselves for the long haul.